"Wrap Up That Packing, Girl!"

Friday morning and I still have tubs waiting to be filled. At the beginning of the week, my parents were telling me that I had to set an immediate goal if I wanted to get my packing done "by the end of the day." Of course, their prophesy about me procrastinating until the last minute came true. Move-in is on Monday, so I still have a little time...But I really want to be done packing this morning.
Something is telling me that I should turn off my computer...so I told that little voice in my head: "Be quite! I'm trying to write a post here, and don't you see that extra tab up there? I have to get my daily blog-reading in!"
Ha.
...
And of course, just as I finished typing, Jimmy Needham sang to me:
"If I ever needed grace, it's now...You are strong when I am weak somehow..."
Thanks, God. I get the point.

So what my soul is trying to tell me: "Liz. Remember how you wanted to practice death to self? Sacrifice? Well, here's your chance! You can read the blog later. You know it's really not that hard to click the little 'X'. You're almost done packing... Let's go, GET MOVING!"

That could have been a little nudge from my Guardian Angel, too. He's in cahoots with my soul, you know.
:) It's great being Catholic for multiple reasons-one, I can say things like that.

I could probably go on and on about something else, but I really should go!

Oh My Monday (and a Hairy Story)

It seems that this morning is about procrastination and [worldy] contemplation.

Procrastination: I lack a severe amount of motivation to finish packing for college. So I'm spending my time on facebook and random blogs...But mostly facebook.

Contemplation: Do I really need a haircut/trim? I'm trying to rock the pixie cut, and it's hard to know when is the right time to get it re-maintained.

Which brings me to my hairy story...

When I came home from the convent, my hair was super short. It was a real blow to my self-esteem because I had long hair for years.

 From:  To:

In short (no pun intended), my drastic appearance (among other things) caused my self-confidence to crumble. I have the slightest feeling that, in hindsight, I will see God's hand in all of this. He brought me closer to Himself by showing me that His Love never fails. For example, I felt that everyone was judging me by my hair and I just wanted them to know that I didn't choose to look like this (because the sisters wear the habit, my head was covered by a veil, so my long hair was unnecessary). Of course, it was unfathomable that I would want to tell the world that I just came home from the convent, so there was only one place I knew I could be truly loved and understood. That place was in front of the Tabernacle. 

There was only one problem...God did not miraculously add extensions to my head, so I still had to try to make it look decent. At first, I only used mousse because there wasn't much else I could do. Eventually, my new friends convinced me to buy hair accessories, so I spruced it up with little flowers, bows, clips, etc.

Mousse'd Up

Goofy, but accessorizing!

And when my hair finally grew long enough to get a stylist, I was directed to use a certain taffy to give the top of my head a little volume, which is great! I was never big into hair products, but I'm allowing myself to splurge a little due to the circumstances. 

Anyway, life went on, and when I came home from college for summer break, I decided to do some investigating on the hair atop my head.

A few of my discoveries included:

• It has a name! I found a post called, The Pixie Cut Series that changed my life, in a subtle way. She has great advice, such as: "Avoid The Mullet"...

•  And scarves! I found a great video by a woman who shared her wisdom about pixie cuts and scarves. After watching this, I went on a hunt into the thrift stores in town for the cutest head wraps/scarves I could find. BTW, "thrifting" has become one of my most favorite hobbies...who doesn't love saving money?!

These are my two favorite scarves :)

• ...Curlers? I like the curly-bang look:
  
  
   and I saw this example online, but because my hair is thick and straight, I'm not sure if the foam curlers I bought will do me any good.

There was a lot of helpful information on the web, and I'm thankful that I had the determination to find it. In the end, I decided to embrace the situation God placed me in. I suppose I could have given up and drowned in my misery, allowing my hair to fall where it may...but it feels beautiful using what God has given me to change my perspective.

If anyone is struggling with their appearance as I am, know that there is a way to break free from the struggle and still feel beautiful. Instead of trying to "fix it," work with what you've got!

Lord, help me to accept whatever cross you may place upon my shoulders, and help me to carry the burden...for I cannot do it alone.

Life in a Nut Shell

I was born and raised in a typical, but loving, family. Being the middle of three kids was hard, but only because I always wanted everything to be equal and fair. My wise parents constantly had the phrases: "Life's not fair!" and "The [County] fair's in August." in their back pockets. I went to a public school from Kindergarten until Sophomore year of high school. I had started to grow in my faith when my mom began attending Daily Mass. I wanted to grab ahold of whatever seemed to be making her a better woman. I will be forever grateful that God took my great uncle into His arms that 8th grade year, because I later found out that my mom was offering Mass every day for the repose of Uncle Jerome's soul. 

When sophomore year rolled around, I was yearning for a better faith environment while, at the same time, my parents were planning to transfer my sister and I to the Catholic school in town.  Junior and Senior year came and went, but in the middle of it all, I had discerned that God was calling me to be set apart from the world...I was blessed to hear His call to enter religious life. I met with a great priest during my senior year and went on a Discernment Retreat with a beautiful and Orthodox community of Sisters striving for holiness. 

I was living the religious life for over a year when God had told my heart that it was not the right time for me. I was in the second stage of discernment with the Sisters when I felt that I was not ready to live the Life and that I needed to return home and attend college. 

I came home last November, lived at home for a month, and started school at the University of Real World in Somewhere, North Dakota. The first semester was, honestly, the hardest 4 months of my life. Transitioning back into the world was a lot harder than I anticipated. In retrospect, I'm thankful for the opportunities that God allowed for me to grow in many ways. I learned a lot, and I'm going to take it all with me as I return again in a few short weeks.

Which leaves me with this post...Simply put, I'm Striving for Holiness by giving my life to Him, the One Who died for me. 

And that's:

God love all of those who join me as I post about my journey through life!

Remembering Reality

I was just about to title this post as "Wish for a Family." But before I started typing thoughts into words, I heard Auntie Seraphic's words in my ear...I already have a family (Auntie S knows so well the typical desires of the [Catholic] Single heart). I have a wonderful mother, a great father, a big brother, and a little sister. I have an abundance of beautiful and influential people in my life. They aren't perfect, I'm not perfect, and whatever family God may bless me with down the road will not be perfect.

I had originally intended to say something holy&pious like: There certainly are days when I am leaning toward one vocation or another, but in all reality, I think I'm just longing for a family I can claim...as God-given? As my own??

But even as I type this, it is losing it's meaning and direction. 

Another favorite blog of mine recently posted about St. Thomas the Apostle and his unbelief. The author went on to describe some questions that arise when reflecting on Thomas and his doubts. What resonated with me was:

Do I really believe that He knows my future and that it's a good one? If I did, I wouldn't feel so much confusion about where I should be... I would live now.

 ...

 Do I really believe that His Will is perfect and mine is very, very imperfect? That He knows better? If I did, I would truly be not afraid.

My original zeal for this post was imperfect because I was going to pour out desires for the future.
I am constantly struggling to accept God's will for me at the present. I'm a college student and I have come to discern that He wills for me to finish my degree. I need to constantly remind myself that the exciting part of striving for holiness while in college is that there are SO many ways He will surprise me with abundant opportunities!
Lord, help me to be open to your will every day of the rest of my life.

Hope to be a Light of Hope on St. Monica Hall

With the words: "I'm writing to ask if you could send out an email introducing all Monica Hall* members to each other? I think this would be a great way to break the ice and make a start at forming foundation for community!"... I'm hoping to help create a better community striving for "faith, character, and holiness."**
Currently, I'm not a fan of making step-by-step goals to achieving something as abstract as the above. So I would like to state, for my own records***, that I am going to approach my placement on this floor as something God-given. Thus, I am aware that Fr. Bernard**** would suggest that I come to school knowing that there are priorities, such as:

1. Spiritual Life (prayer, Mass, etc.)
2. School Work
3. St. Monica Hall
4. Club/Organization Commitments
5. Anything that falls after that.

And so, as long as I am aware of the balance that needs to be found within all of these priorities, and with God's grace, I should be able to discern what God is offering to me through these opportunities of service.


* St. Monica Hall is the name of the ________ Women's Floor I will be living on this year. "________" because I am currently confused as to whether or not it is a Catholic, Christian, or "growing-in-faith-character-and-holiness" floor.

** Following the previous statement, I am slightly in love with a particular Catholic Women's Floor at an expensive college I am currently attending in my dream world. Because Monica Hall doesn't live up to University of Dream World's Solidly-Catholic Women's Floor, I have found the floor to be lacking. On the other hand, I am still trying to figure out if the problem can be found within my head. 

*** 'For my own records,' simply because I think the purpose of this blog is to hold myself accountable to the perceived public.

**** Fr. Bernard is the spiritually intense and equally amazing chaplain at the University of Real World.



[side-note: I would only create extravagant fake names for people/places/things-with-real-names if I thought they were important enough to put into a blog on the world wide web]

Simple Friday Morning

Thus a new beginning to Striving for Holiness.
It's my recuperating morning after Young Women's Discipleship Camp. Recuperating-ly refreshing because I was a small-group leader and I let myself be spiritually, mentally, and physically drained.
More on that later, I think.
At the moment, I'm drinking my coffee and reading a recently favorite blog -while at the same time staring at my cluttered dwelling place in dire need of organization.
I think I need to get back into a routine. Pronto.