It seems that this morning is about procrastination and [worldy] contemplation.
Procrastination: I lack a severe amount of motivation to finish packing for college. So I'm spending my time on facebook and random blogs...But mostly facebook.
Contemplation: Do I really need a haircut/trim? I'm trying to rock the pixie cut, and it's hard to know when is the right time to get it re-maintained.
Which brings me to my hairy story...
When I came home from the convent, my hair was super short. It was a real blow to my self-esteem because I had long hair for years.
In short (no pun intended), my drastic appearance (among other things) caused my self-confidence to crumble. I have the slightest feeling that, in hindsight, I will see God's hand in all of this. He brought me closer to Himself by showing me that His Love never fails. For example, I felt that everyone was judging me by my hair and I just wanted them to know that I didn't choose to look like this (because the sisters wear the habit, my head was covered by a veil, so my long hair was unnecessary). Of course, it was unfathomable that I would want to tell the world that I just came home from the convent, so there was only one place I knew I could be truly loved and understood. That place was in front of the Tabernacle.
There was only one problem...God did not miraculously add extensions to my head, so I still had to try to make it look decent. At first, I only used mousse because there wasn't much else I could do. Eventually, my new friends convinced me to buy hair accessories, so I spruced it up with little flowers, bows, clips, etc.
And when my hair finally grew long enough to get a stylist, I was directed to use a certain taffy to give the top of my head a little volume, which is great! I was never big into hair products, but I'm allowing myself to splurge a little due to the circumstances.
Anyway, life went on, and when I came home from college for summer break, I decided to do some investigating on the hair atop my head.
A few of my discoveries included:
- It has a name! I found a post called, The Pixie Cut Series that changed my life, in a subtle way. She has great advice, such as: "Avoid The Mullet"...
- And scarves! I found a great video by a woman who shared her wisdom about pixie cuts and scarves. After watching this, I went on a hunt into the thrift stores in town for the cutest head wraps/scarves I could find. BTW, "thrifting" has become one of my most favorite hobbies...who doesn't love saving money?!
These are my two favorite scarves :)
- ...Curlers? I like the curly-bang look:
There was a lot of helpful information on the web, and I'm thankful that I had the determination to find it. In the end, I decided to embrace the situation God placed me in. I suppose I could have given up and drowned in my misery, allowing my hair to fall where it may...but it feels beautiful using what God has given me to change my perspective.
If anyone is struggling with their appearance as I am, know that there is a way to break free from the struggle and still feel beautiful. Instead of trying to "fix it," work with what you've got!
Lord, help me to accept whatever cross you may place upon my shoulders, and help me to carry the burden...for I cannot do it alone.
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