A Summer of the Smalls

This summer has been a whirlwind of little things.

Coffee and Perkins with friends.
Fishing.
Camping.
Sheephead.*
Biking. Lots of biking.
Applications, resume's, interviews, accepting a job!
Dancing.
Painting Nails.
Crazy cousins.
Inspecting sump pumps for the City.
Celebrating the Holy Sacrament of Marriage.
Fellowship with friends.
Unpacking, re-packing, shifting, loading and unloading.
Young adult group-ing.
Driving. Everywere...in the Midwest anyway.

And I've kept myself the Lord keeps me sane, in the way that only He knows how. But what has helped is this wonderful life planner. For Catholic women out there, it has everything you want in a planner, and more! I'm not a mother, so about 20% of the tools that Nancy has included are not useful to me, but that other 80% sure helps! I keep a planner because it helps me to remember the things that I often forget. And if you talk to my friends or family, they could testify that I tend to forget a lot.

Now that I've put that little plug in, I wanted to share with you some of what I call "the Smalls". Smalls are the little phrases or quotes that have stuck out to me throughout these past months. Lately as I come across something that resonates with my heart, I write it down somewhere and stick it in my planner. Here are the Smalls of my summer:
-- any emphasis made are my own :) --
-- I'll accurately quote the original author where it applies, and if I can remember ;) --

I'd take being single for the rest of my life KNOWING that I can depend on the One true God to love me to the fullest. - from a post on theyoungcatholicwoman.com (follow link to the article...it's a good'un!)

"A thousand years of enjoying human glory is not worth even an hour spent sweetly communing with Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament" - St. Padre Pio

PETER SAID, Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I FORGIVE him? as many as seven times? JESUS SAID TO HIM, I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven. - Matthew 18: 21 & 22

...in the streets & the crossings I will seek Him whom my heat loves. - Song of Songs: 3:2

Do whatever He tells you. - John 2:5

I am the living bread which came down from Heaven; if anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever. - John 6:51

"If you know your enemy & you know yourself, you need not fear the results of 100 battles [because you know how he works; how & when the Devil attacks]. If you know yourself, but not the enemy, for every victory gain there will be defeat. If you know neither the enemy or yourself, you will succumb at every battle." - Fr. Mike Schmitz

Use it up. Wear it out. Make it do; or Do without. - from one of my new fave websites, theartofsimple.net (follow link to the article...and then go to the "start here" tab at the top!)


Thanks for reading! Maybe you'll start writing down some Smalls, too!

Thank you Jesus, for the Bigs and the Smalls!



*Sheephead is a marvelously complicated card game that reigns in my German family. I have the privilege of joining my parents on their Friday Night Appointment at Grandma and Grandpa's every other week or so. :)

The L*** of ROMA

**Disclaimer: It took me quite a while to think this post through...and even a longer while to publish it! 

There are precisely 76 hours (or 3 days) until I step foot in the United States. On our Rome Campus, we’ve decided not to use the “L” word…LAST.

For one, this may not be my L*** time in Rome. I am confident that I will come back here one day. Who knows why, with whom, what for, and for how long? There’s this confidence in me that I am not saying my final “goodbye.”

Well, I could go on and on about all the emotions and feelings I’ve gone through this past week…but I’ll spare you the melodrama of my life. I will say, though, that we were not spared from the usual stress that comes around finals week. As any other professional procrastinator, I left much of my schoolwork for the last days of the semester. The only difference is that I also went through the self-induced pressure of feeling the need to see EVERYTHING in Rome…

It took me about a day or two to stop and think, “Really?” The discovery was glorious: I have seen almost all of the sites on my “to-see” list. The only place I wanted to spend my L*** days in Rome was St. Peter’s Square/St. Peter’s Basilica.

Makes sense, doesn’t it? My heart longs to be home, my Catholic Home…the reason I came here in the first place!

What exemplifies this best is that Mo & I went to St. Peter’s at night – just like the first night we were here, four months ago. I hadn’t been sentimental until this point…she brought me over to the spot where our director reminded us that Jesus Christ is the reason why we’re here. He talked about how this semester was going to push us, but help us to grow. Mo and I reflected on how there really is no other word to describe our experience here than “magical.” As Disney-coated as that sounds, it’s true! The peace that comes while sitting in front of one of the most magnificent man-made buildings as it lights up the Square during the night is unimaginable. I’m thankful for the friends I’ve made here, especially for Mo. Her and I have shared the desire to look for the Lord wherever we go. It’s always a blessing when you can have deep friendships like this. The L*** Sunday in Rome was spent with her, but we were blessed with yet another opportunity to visit St. Peter’s at night…

Wednesday was technically our final day in Rome. We were all a little anxious as to how stressful it may be. We woke up bright and early, leaving for the Holy Father’s General Audience at 5:30am. My prior experience to crowds in St. Peter’s Square was not a positive ones; I was tempted to get out of line and just watch the Audience from a distance. Praise God that I didn’t because He really treated His children that morning! We all agreed that it was the most peaceful crowd we’ve been in so far. We were able to make it to the front row of the general seating area, where our excitement grew waiting for Papa Francesco’s arrival. I had brought my binoculars – my first and L*** time using them – and it was so cool to be able to see Papa through them. His message that morning was on Marriage and the family.

My Mom had sent me 9 “Worry Crosses” that my grandpa – woodworker as a hobby – had made. I am bringing 8 of them home, blessed by the Pope, leaving one in Rome with him. It was easy to put it into a package with a letter, and I was able to hand it to one of Papa’s guard’s as they came by to greet the crowd. ** After I arrived home, I discovered that L'Osservatore Romano, the Official Vatican Newspaper, had snapped a shot of "the exchange." Amazing!

If you look real close, you can see me handing off the package!

Before we left, we made sure to take a group picture, all of us wearing our Università di Maria ROMA shirts. It was so great to be able soak in the moment with my group.

After the Audience, we went back to campus to have lunch and to do our major cleaning. I was inspired by how much effort everyone chipped in to make the place clean for the next group arriving early May. Self-gift shown through community is always beautiful.

Our L*** “hoo-rah” for the group was Community Night on the town. We patiently waited for our tride-and-true 870 Bus, all dressed up for the occasion. Our Campus Ministry team was also patiently waiting for us at the restaurant where we had our reservations. The meal went on as per usual, beginning with a welcome and prayer by Fr. AssistantChaplian. We had appetizing bruschetta, delicious carbonara pasta, finished with some tasty pork and potatoes.

Then came the time for “the toasts.” The funny thing about my Rome group is that we love tradition, at times a bit too much. Before the night had even begun, everyone was talking about these toasts that we would have to give at the end of the meal. I don’t believe in forcing anyone into traditions like these, and tried to suggest that we let it come naturally. So this was all in my mind as our meal was coming to an end: Who’s going to start the toasts? Maybe we’ll have a little prayer by Fr. Chaplain and then he’ll welcome anyone to toast…should I go first?

St. Joan, pray for us!

But it was even better than that. One of the members of our group, who was chosen to be the RA for the semester, stood up with our RD to announce that they had been praying about patron saints for everyone since the beginning of the semester. They had individual saints and saint medals for each person, mine was St. Joan of Arc. Our RD said that she was an obvious choice as she was always fighting for Christ and it reminded him of my goal to be on the frontlines, teaching in the public sector.  Because of this, I have made her the patron saint of my career.

Following our saint assignments, it was time to say goodbye to our Campus Ministry team. The team consisted of seminarians, priests, and deacons who are studying at the Pontifical North American College. All throughout the semester they have been a solid constant of support and love. They have taught us, laughed with us, shared stories with us, and given their individual time to us. I hope to keep in touch with them, as they have touched my heart. Because it was past their curfew, we decided that our whole group would give toasts back on campus. So next, we went out for gelato at our favorite shop, The Fridgidarium (aka, the Fridge). I got my two favorite flavors, Stracciatella and Chaciolato Fondente. YUM.

Our final stop was the place we will always call home, St. Peter’s Basilica. I was amazed, yet again, by the peace I felt. We stood outside the gates and someone had suggested that we give our toasts right then and there. So we did! I’m sure it was a precious sight, a bunch of young adults gathered around in a circle facing the Basilica, listening to one person at a time and trying hard not to cry (some of us failing epically!). After everyone had said what was on their heart, we brought it in for a group hug. The general consensus of the toasts was that there is nobody else we would have chosen to experience this semester with. And I agree. I know and believe that God brought each and every single one of the Rome Spring Group together and we will always have the bond of experiences abroad: the joys, the sorrows, the struggles, the accomplishments, the stresses, the goofiness, the openness, and the love – the constant flow of love!

My faith has been renewed. My personality has deepened. My realization of God’s love for me has been experienced through the beauty abroad. I thank God for making this happen, and I thank my parents for helping me every step of the way. Their support is never failing and I am forever grateful.

Ciao, Roma!

Until next time…

Lord, thank You for the blessings, the graces, and the love that You pour upon us Your children. Open our hearts so that we may always praise Your name!

Pasqua a Roma: Easter in Rome

This is it. Really, the moment has arrived and it snuck up on me like a deer hiding among the trees when I drive along the highway. Except, unlike a deer who could stop dead in its tracks, Easter in Rome would come and go whether I chose to participate or not.

Thankfully, I jumped in with both feet. Holy Week started with Palm Sunday Mass in Lourdes, France. Shout-out to Our Lady of Lourdes – this gem of France is worthy of its own post! We made it safely back to Rome and were into the swing of things by the time Monday rolled around. We were done with classes on Wednesday, and at that point it still hadn't really hit me that the climax of my semester abroad was quickly approaching. It still hadn't really hit me that this is precisely the reason why I, along with so many of my peers, chose the Spring Semester Rome Program. And it still hadn't really hit me that we were going to have the privilege of celebrating Mass with the Pope. Mass with the Pope!

Honestly, I was nervous at first. My first and only Papal event that included tickets was a Wednesday General Audience, in which Papa Francesco greets the general public and gives a little Catholic “pep-talk” so to speak. Anyway, the crowds can get pretty forceful – I mean people shove so hard that you barely have to move a muscle. Needless to say, Papal events have the least crowd control I've ever experienced. But like I said, Holy Week would come and go whether I decided to take the opportunity or leave it.

Come Thursday morning’s Chrism Mass, the plan was to leave campus at 7:00 so that we could be in line at St. Peter’s Square by 8:00. We spent our time in line building community by devising a plan to prevent others from budging us in line. This was serious business because we witnessed three people casually budge in front of our group! So we stuck close together and I called it “closing the gaps.” We made our way inside St. Peter’s Basilica and found a seat, constantly sitting down and standing up as the crowd thought that the Holy Father was processing in. Turns out that 1) it was still an hour before Mass, and 2) every time the choir sang it was to accompany the 3,000 priests as they processed in. Eventually Papa Francesco did process in, and it was beautiful. Him and his altar servers were the presence of peace in the midst of the crowd of photo-snapping civilians. 

Of course, the Mass was awe-inspiring. It was yet another opportunity to make me stop and question, “Why me?” Witnessing the year’s blessing of the Chrism Oils and witnessing the priests renew their priestly vows was pretty great. Receiving Jesus Christ in the Eucharist inside of St. Peter’s was a moment I’ll never forget.

There are so many spiritual traditions within the Catholic Church. My new favorite has to be visiting the Altars of Repose after Holy Thursday Mass. One of our Rome Campus Ministry chaplains, Fr. Samson, invited us to Holy Thursday Mass at his residence, Casa Santa Maria, in the smallest, most elegant chapel. Following Mass, we had enjoyed dinner together at a restaurant along the way to our first chapel. We then visited seven churches to make the pilgrimage for the intentions of the Holy Father. We visited Jesus present in the beautiful altars of repose. Father told us that we didn’t have to necessarily say anything to Our Lord, He just asks us – as He did the Apostles that holy night of Agony – to “stay here and keep watch with Me.” And as a side-note: Plenary Indulgence bonus for the win! J

 It feels strange for me to say that this pilgrimage was the highlight of my Holy Week, my “Easter in Rome.” After all, if Easter Mass with the Pope was the primary reason for my being here and now, how could this unexpected and unplanned event make the top of my list?

But then again, this whole semester has been full of ways that God flipped around my expectations to open my eyes and my heart to my true desires. I have a Confession to make, though: I didn't stay for Mass at St. Peter’s on Sunday morning. I dodged out of the down-pouring rain to make it over to the English-speaking Mass at Santo Spiritu. With every tap of the key in that sentence, I can hear the gasps of my family and friends: “Why did you leave the Easter Mass with the Pope?!”

(My favorite altar at the chapel of the Bridgettine Sisters)

My heart was telling me that I wanted to fully participate in the Easter celebration. Christ has risen from the dead and if he hadn't, I wouldn't be here at all! I give props to the others in my group who were real troopers and were able to witness the beautiful Easter Mass at St. Peter’s.

If I can redeem myself, I did make sure to hear the Urbi et Orbi** and receive Papa’s special Easter blessing. Counts for something, right? 

On a final note, I am truly grateful that the Lord taught me how to celebrate with my Rome family – in our little home away from home, as a community of laughter and love.

Lord, open my eyes and my heart to see the abundant blessings of Your infinite love.

**Check out the rare blessing that the Holy Father gives only twice a year (Easter & Christmas) - he spoke passionately about the need to pray for the persecuted Christians.

Week ONE

I made it through the first week of school. It wasn't a full week, but it sure felt like it!

The noteworthy?

Our daily Mass attendance is growing fast! My favorite is hearing so many voices sing praise to God during the Sanctus...definitely a beautiful experience! Personally, I believe that many people come to Mass because it's at a possible/practical time: 4:30 pm. My friend disagrees with me (she doesn't like the time at all) but if you think about it, the majority of my peers don't have class at 4:30...so, naturally...

Thursday night, St. Monica Hall had a hall meeting. We talked about the 4 pillars of our floor: Prayer, Study, Community, and Service. Our hall Rector (in the middle of Resident Director and Resident Assistant) covered close to everything that we would need to know about living on this floor. She addressed the question everyone had: "Is this a discernment floor?" She stated that, although we are women of discernment (and always should be), this is not a floor for discernment directed towards Religious Life. She advised us to pray for each other, to help each other grow, and to be there to support each other. Overall, I was very happy with how the meeting turned out. On the flip side, I discovered my lack of zeal to embrace the life of community. This is really hard for me to accept because last semester, I was so pro-community that it was ridiculous! I understand now, in hindsight, that I had high expectations of myself, the floor, and the university. So maybe this is my "punishment"...which I can say with a smile because I know all too well of God's sense of humor! Anyway, to elaborate on my social laziness: After our hall meeting, a few girls gathered and talked among themselves and I went straight to my room to do homework. Today, a beautiful Sunday, I have spent the majority of the day with myself. I'm naturally socially-awkward and shy, so I'm guessing the whole process, like everything else in life, will just take time.

It really bites to be impatient. This reminds me how much I want to start my night class! This first week of school started on Tuesday, which means I didn't have to start classes with my 6-9:30 pm night class. I am thankful for that, because I probably would have suffered death by overwhelm. But week number two will also start on Tuesday, thanks to Labor Day (…I mean…Yay! Labor Day!!...), so I have to miss out on my Catholic Studies course, Documents of Vatican II yet again. I hereby present: Opportune moment to grow in patience # 2. I missed out on that due to the fact that I felt the need to express my disappointment to multiple people this week.

Oh, the little things.

I’m trying to rack my brain for anything else that might be noteworthy from this week, but I am very distracted by the beautiful gift of my surroundings:

\Sometimes I think that the view here at University of Real World is the only thing keeping me from running off to University of Dream World...and then I remember that UDW would cost more than I could make in my lifetime...Oh, yeah, and that URW is part of The Plan and to run off would be detrimental to my life.

Anyway, what this whole week boils down to is: Every part of me is going through some kind of transition. I’m keeping a firm grasp on Christ’s Hand.

Oh, Lord, here we go! Lead the way…

Hope to be a Light of Hope on St. Monica Hall

With the words: "I'm writing to ask if you could send out an email introducing all Monica Hall* members to each other? I think this would be a great way to break the ice and make a start at forming foundation for community!"... I'm hoping to help create a better community striving for "faith, character, and holiness."**
Currently, I'm not a fan of making step-by-step goals to achieving something as abstract as the above. So I would like to state, for my own records***, that I am going to approach my placement on this floor as something God-given. Thus, I am aware that Fr. Bernard**** would suggest that I come to school knowing that there are priorities, such as:

1. Spiritual Life (prayer, Mass, etc.)
2. School Work
3. St. Monica Hall
4. Club/Organization Commitments
5. Anything that falls after that.

And so, as long as I am aware of the balance that needs to be found within all of these priorities, and with God's grace, I should be able to discern what God is offering to me through these opportunities of service.


* St. Monica Hall is the name of the ________ Women's Floor I will be living on this year. "________" because I am currently confused as to whether or not it is a Catholic, Christian, or "growing-in-faith-character-and-holiness" floor.

** Following the previous statement, I am slightly in love with a particular Catholic Women's Floor at an expensive college I am currently attending in my dream world. Because Monica Hall doesn't live up to University of Dream World's Solidly-Catholic Women's Floor, I have found the floor to be lacking. On the other hand, I am still trying to figure out if the problem can be found within my head. 

*** 'For my own records,' simply because I think the purpose of this blog is to hold myself accountable to the perceived public.

**** Fr. Bernard is the spiritually intense and equally amazing chaplain at the University of Real World.



[side-note: I would only create extravagant fake names for people/places/things-with-real-names if I thought they were important enough to put into a blog on the world wide web]