The First Almost-Fire

I'm staring at the coffee that sits at the bottom of my mug, and the half-burnt rice that sits at the bottom of my bowl all while wondering why I haven't written something in a long time. What helps this pondering is my new author-roommate who takes time to sit down and write.

This life is objectively hard. Every step I take in the right direction towards embracing the objectively hard concepts seems to bring me around a corner that knocks me out with the reality that

an objectively hard reality does not become easier just because I come to terms with it.

I was told that I may get used to the things in this phase of my life that are difficult. However, this does not imply that the problems will simply go away.

Unpreparedness
Lonliness
Confusion
Relationships
Feeling Stifled
Overwhelmed
Mistakes
Words that could have been left unsaid
Not meeting standards
Teaching
Losing sleep
Time management

All of these things, and probably more, add up to be a heavy burden. The real only solution I have found as I carry the weight is to relate every heavy thought and feeling to the Good Lord Who cares for me.


Jesus, this hurts.